For the love of a TWO year old.

Dear Lola,

First of all, Happy SECOND birthday to you my love!!

So here we are baby girl, TWO years later and your daddy and I have officially given up on the idea that this will one day become “normal” and that we will eventually become used to you or our life with you in it.

At one point we thought we would stop obsessing over every little thing you do, stop worrying about every little thing you do and stop taking your picture every 5 minutes. We pretty much thought after the first year we would  be less annoying.

Some have even offered the thought that maybe after the second child we won’t be so… well… ya know.

Our response, “Not a chance in hell”.

In fact (as much as daddy Lou makes fun of me) he made me promise on the way home from your bithday weekend in Statesboro to go just as overboard for all of our future babies as I do for you.

You got it daddy Lou!

Lord help us.

Actually, Lord help you Lola and whoever else is reading this (and their instagram, facebook and snapchat accounts).

It’s official Lola, we either need a really big hobby or need to be sent to the nut house.

In fact, if I had to be honest, it’s gotten worse.

#loaddictsanonymous

It probably didn’t help that I once saw a sign that said something to the effct of “you have 940 Saturdays from when your child is born until when they go to college”.

Yeah, that was not healthy for me.

Lola if we could have nothing more than the last two years with you to live over and over again we would be the happiest mommy and daddy on this earth.

We would love nothing more but a hudred more “yous” and quite frankly I think the world would be a better place if there were a hundred more Lolas running around!

Keep in mind none of us may ever sit down or focus on one thought for more than five seconds but we would be happy and feel loved that’s for sure!

Last night we let you stay up extra late to watch the movie Gigi got you for your birthday, Frozen.

You sat in my lap under your new Sophia blanket (which I have now named “the cuddle blanket” in hopes that you wil use it to initiate a cuddle date more freuently if I name it that-say Im not creative/maniplative).

Anyway, while you were sitting in my lap with your eyes glue to the movie you called my name “mama” about every 15-30 seconds… typically you just point or mention something you want me to see but it is the sweetest thing ever and  honestly I can’t get enough of it.

When we’re riding in the car it’s the same thing, you call my name constantly to point to anything and everything out the window.

I will do your updated “Dear Lola” soon regrding exactly what your up to lately but for now I just want to mention that sound becaue it is the absolute sweetest sound on this earth.

I have a little girl running around calling me her mama.

You also stare and listen intensely anytime I tell you something new or am doing something new and I watch you watch me… It is truly the biggest honor to see you watch me.

You have no idea how fun you are, how sweet you are, how caring you are, how smart you are  and how much light you bring to complete strangers lives just yet but your mama see’s it and everyone who crosses your path sees it too.

You make me so proud to be your mama Lola, it’s like walking into a room with a tiara on my head because when I see you in “action” all I can think is “yup she’s mine” .

Hopefuly that doesn’t change with the “TWO’s” coming up LOL

You are without a doubt my absolute biggest accomplishment ever.

You have a way of loving and a spirit of giving as if each person you meet is the most important person in the room (just like your daddy).

When you came into this word I truly believe the Earth shifted to make room for you…. every one seemed happier, more patient and more loving with you being here.

It was almost embarrassing, I wondered when we went out in public if they knew you were the “reason” the world was happier. I could have sworn our stroller had a sign that said “Yup! Here she is everyone”!

The only thing I can think of that compares to it is the first time I kissed your daddy.. or should I say when he kissed me. I could have sworn there was a HUGE billboard on my forehead that said “we just kissed”! I just knew that even if I made eye contact with a complete stranger it would be so obvous and they woud just know it….. so naturally I did what every 14 year old girl would do…. kept my head down!

When you were born it was the second time I ever felt that way but there was no head down about it….

“Yup, here she is”!

On Lou’s birthday post I described our  “ten year pregnancy” because we had waited and dreamed of the day for so long that we could have you and meet you. Well I didn’t want to get into it then since it was all about Daddy Lou but this is the after affects of that 10 year build up…..

Our life with you.

See Lola, when you wait SO long for something it seems unreal that it’s really here once it finally comes and you want to protect it and cherish it with everything that you’ve got.

This is why we hold you So tight Lola.

This is why we keep you up later than we should.

This is why we never want to miss a diaper change, a bath time or an opportunity to tuck you in at night.

On that note; this is why we’re control freaks.

This is why we never want to leave your side.

This is why vacations no longer seem appealing unless they include you.

This is why at the end of a long day of sharing  you with others mommy complains that she hasn’t seen you “yet today” when in actuality we haven’t left eachothers side all day.. we just haven’t been alone together- and mommy needs that.

This is why we insisted on crawling out of bed and running to your beck and call even when we had/have help here for us.

This is why at two you have never eaten a blueberry that wasn’t smooshed lola (and a ton of other things). 

We’re aboslutely, helplessly obsessed Lola.

This past weekend we got lots of questions about when we plan to  give you a sibling and while I will say we are much closer to being there, there is ABSOLUTELY nothing in the world (including cute, sweet, sleeping newborn babies) that could have made us share the past two years with any one other than you.

We’re selfish like that Lola.

Two weeks ago we went on a “date night” for Lou’s birthday and it was the first time we left you for dinner since our one big night out in Ireland in October! The first thing we said when we got to the end of the road was “I can’t believe we have an almost two year old baby girl sitting at that house who is a living, breathing replica of the two of us”.

It’s pretty crazy Lola.

You have given us SO much in the last 2 years but I think my absolute favorite part has been you giving us the every day adventure of life with you.

Before you came along we looked forward to things, the weekends, holidays, Christmas, a trip somewhere, new seasons changing etc…. Now, as much as I still look forward to things like that I ave to say, each day when I walk into your room and get you out of that crib it’s like a brand new Christmas morning (the kind I had when I was a kid)!

Perhaps this is why we are still pinching ourselves.

You help us live in the moment, you help us love harder and you help us keep focus of what is important in life.

I was getting my hair done the other day with you in tow of course and the girl washing my hair kept saying how beautiful you were, but it felt different. She kep starring at you and I could tell she was thinking… I started to ask her about her own children and she said she had a ten year old girl. I asked “does it just make you so sad how fast it goes by?” She said more than that she just  wishes she could do over her daghters first few years of life and get them all back to cherish them because she made a lot of mistkes and didn’t cherish the moments when she had the chance.

I wanted to cry for her. It was like being punched in the stomach with a guilt I can not imagine would ever go away and it wasn’t even my own guilt.

She starred at you as you washed your own baby dolls hair in the salon chair and she almost started to cry.

It was such a sad moment and I just suddenly felt like all the air was sucked out of the room.

I can not imagine having to live with that.

One day when I am old and gray I hope I can look back and say that although it’s sad that it’s over, we lived and loved every moment of it as hard as we possibly could.

This past year of you being ONE was a year I will cherish for the rest of my life. Being home with you for almost all of it was such a blessing I am forever grateful for. Waking up with you, going to bed with you and all the in betweens I got to be there for you. We have become best friends with a mutual trust, admiration and playfullness that I could have only ever dreamed existed. Even before I met you I knew the three of us were meant to be, we work best when we are together, all three of us as a team.

 

I think this is a big part of why rarely have date nights without you or go places with out you…. you just fit so effortlessly into our life. Like I always say Lola, we have just been waiting on you to complete us.

We promise to do our best and always live up to your expecations for as long as you let us baby girl.

So here’s to TWO Lola!

We hope you had the HAPPIEST birthday of all today! We have so much to show you and teach you now that you are TWO Lola. Your mommy has wanted a TWO year old her ENTIRE life and as sad as I am that you are already two we have some AMAZING things in store for you this year!

We Love you baby girl,

Happy birthday!

Love Always,

Mama and Daddy