Dear Lola,

Little girl, I can’t stand to write this letter to you this year.

I can’t stand to think about it all.

You are 3.

Do you know how old 3 is for a newborn baby I thought would NEVER come?

Do you know how hard it is to tell you happy 3rd birthday?

Much harder than finally buying a bulk pack of wipes when you were abut 4 months old and I realized I just might get to keep you.

When I tell you that my entire life I have wanted you and my entire life I have dreamed of you being exactly who you are today and who you have been this past year. It couldn’t be anymore true. I hate that each day that goes by we get further and further away from this stage- I can’t imagine anything being more fun.

I have heard phrases my whole life of how people describe the love they have for their children. I don’t think I ever knew the meaning of most until after meeting you.

For example:

You complete me.

Sounds simple right.

I said it after meeting your daddy but I thought that was it. I thought you and your spouse are a whole and when you have kids they are just your “additions”..

I thought that was enough.

When you came along we learned we were so wrong.

Without knowing or realizing what was happening, looking back  you were what made us whole. Which I admit probably goes against all types of theories of proper families and the parents being at the “top” etc.

Oh well Lola, we couldn’t help it if we tried.

You complete us.

I absolutely adore you Lola.

Your daddy is in awe of you and if you have met him at all you know he has a pride about him when he speaks of you.

We find ourselves starring at you and then making eye contact with each other on a daily basis.

Your daddy’s DNA was wired to protect you (and I)  from everything you could possibly experience that could hurt you either emotionally or physically. He honestly doesn’t know how to not protect. You should see him watching you cross the street to this day holding someone’s hand other than his own… even mine! It’s ridiculous Lola but just go with it. You are daddy’s heart and he honestly couldn’t live without knowing you were two things; safe and happy.

I hope you never need protection from anything in life but God forbid you ever do, I hope we are enough. I know your daddy prays everyday that he can be enough.

Lola mommy likes to ramble and these last 2 months I have alone with you are going to be uber lovey dovie.

SO here it goes: What your up to at 3 years old:

Your daddy is still amazed at our ESP- we are still odly connected and at this point I think if you were in another country and cried I would know it the exact second it happened.

To this day when I tell your daddy stories about how in sync we are with each other he tells me “ok now your scaring me”. We still wake up together like clockwork even if it’s the middle  of the night. I wouldn’t be surprised if we rolled over at the same times without knowing it…

You love to hide my “tata holders” to make sure daddy doesn’t see them! You thin it’s hilarious to whisper about them and hide them from him!

Your daddy has to have eye contact everyday when he gets home from work to talk to you about your day. Right now  you can’t stand it and it’s actually possible it may only get worse but you put up with it (and I thank you for that).

I call you weird almost daily. That’s probably terrible but it’s true… your favorite thing to do is “road block” other kids or even adults- I will admit it’s hilarious but only if people get your humor… most people don’t so you just look like a brat. Often times I don’t know to fuss at you or encourage your character!

Oh and speaking of which we pretty much have no rules for you. I know that sounds horrible but its almost as if you just know your limitations and what we expect of you. Regardless your SUPER spoiled but your so sweet and you mean well with everything you do… it works ok. We pretty much just “make work” whatever your request are and your such a creature of habit we can typically predict what you want/expect so it’s never that big of a deal…

You are SO, so, so smart and pay such attention to detail!

You told me just last week while in a parking lot in Florida that you had never been to before that a nail salon was indeed- a nail saloon. It had no pictures on the outside and only a sign that said “Nails”.

You really are VERY, VERY smart.

You remember things for us to get at the grocery and since you were 2.5 you have asked us “did you lock the car”, “don’t forget the keys” etc. You never forget ANYTHING!

You have thankfully gotten SO much better with kids your age…. you went through a little “spell” around 2.5 until almost now where you didn’t like kids your age- you would shut down or show no interest.

However, your favorite is still babies or kids way older than you- like 7+ years old.

In fact you refuse to go to school but I am confident if they would let you go to the class with 5  year olds or older you would love it…. that or the babies to “help” take care of them!

You never let mama leave your sight. You have started to get a bit (more) of a separation anxiety from me an actually threw up multiple times last week when mama tried to go to dinner with a group of mama friends. I think its more of you feeling left out and wanting to be invited to do EVERYTHING with me.

For instance, you are more than eager to leave me to go do fun things with daddy but it’s another story for me to leave you!

You have SO much confident and sass and we ADORE it! Thankfully it’s not the bad sass (well ok sometimes it’s a little overly sassy) but you have recently added putting your hand on your hip when the sass is coming and Alex and I can predict it! Whenever your confident in telling us something the hand goes right on the hip!

Your favorite new foods are sour cream and mayo (a girl after my own heart) and your favorite food that you have loved from the start are still any type of batter, cookie dough, noodles or ice cream with sprinkles!

We have always said that you are very intuitive and sensitive although thankfully neither of these traits make you timid. You know mama can’t have a timid little girl. Instead you have started this new “technique”we call probing… if we are quiet for too long driving in the car or anywhere you will say “mama/daddy what you doing”. It’s as if your just trying to gage a response so then we have to be silly back to you to assure you everything is fine.

Sometimes I have noticed that if I think back to the last thing we talked about it may have been traffic or daddy talking about work (aka not exciting/happy topics) so you like to “check in”. It so sweet and smart of you. Other times you will ask the opposite one of us that you want to check on. For example; if daddy isn’t talking you will say “mama why daddy not talk to me”. You can imagine your daddy’s response- an overly excited assurance!

You love for us to be loud ALL the time!

You are a jokester. Like ALL the time… You get it from your daddy and he is SO, so proud of that.

Lord help me.

Every single time we park the car and walk around to your side to open the door and get you- you hold the door shut. When we pull it open you start cracking up saying “I’m messin”…

You fell asleep in the car the other night and when daddy carried you up and put you to bed you stayed asleep the whole time, except for about 5 seconds of when he laid you down. He can never resist talking to you, touching your face and kissing your cheeks while your asleep so naturally he woke you up- you started laughing and ticking his face and within seconds you were sound asleep again.

You literally woke up to be silly with him and to go back to sleep. He thought it was the most hilarious thing ever.

Your love language is still engagement and quality time.

I have written a whole separate blog (that’s yet to be published) about how excited you are (and we are for you) to be a big sister! Bless your heart you have been waiting for what I would imagine would seem like forever!

You talk constantly about the baby in your belly and how big your belly has gotten. Today you told Aunt Taytay you couldn’t run because your belly was too big! You love telling me when we go shopping (anywhere) that you have to pick something out for your baby brother! You also have the doctors and nurses check on your baby (blood pressure, heart beat and weight) every time “we” have a check up. Today you even insisted on peeing in the cup- so here I am 7 months pregnant and squatting in front of a toilet holding a cup to catch pee for my 3 year old daughter.

We honestly can’t wait to see you be a big sister!

There is SO much more to say about what you are up to now but I have waited to post this for 8 days now so I guess I need to stop somewhere.

WE love you so much sweet girl and we are SO proud of the sweet, sensitive, smart, fun,  intuitive and loving little girl you are!

We have SO much to look forward to with you in this coming year but we are going to literally SOAK up every ounce of you for the next 2 months until baby brother gets here!

Please above all else know that I love you every day of my life as much and as hard as I possibly can.

We love you baby girl.

Happy Birthday!

Love you forever and ever,

Mama and Daddy