Minnicks On Their Road To Ever After: Remembering Adam and Moving Forward….

As you can probably see from my 2 week streak of “no blogging”…. I am very much dreading this blog.

Never the less, as Lou says It’s important to blog through the not so fun times too and so I will…

Whew… without too much detail, Alex came home early last Monday from his business trip in Mexico after hearing the news of his brother Adam’s deteriorating health.

It was the hardest phone call I have ever had to give him.

To make an awful situation worse he had not slept in days, worked 3 weeks straight with 1 day off, been away from me for the first time ever and at risk of losing his job for choosing to come home to his brother.

Did I mention just writing that rips my heart out and makes me boil with rage at the same time?

Adam had been moved from his moms house where Mrs Karen and Mike had taken care of him since he came home for our wedding 2 years ago to Ogeechee Hospice of Statesboro where he received continued WONDERFUL care.

We didn’t know what to expect when we arrived but leave it to Adam to do all the talking…. He has never been afraid to say just what is on his mind… and so he broke the ice a bit the night Alex and I arrived to see him (for the first time since just before Alex left for Mexico when he appeared as healthy as could be) by mustering up the energy to tell me how awful my shirt was :)

Ohh Adam, you always know how to break the silence and I have a feeling that’s just what you were trying to do!

We spent the entire week at hospice in and out of Adams room, rocking on the porch, laughing, crying and holding each other.

Alex worked away all day and unfortunately all through the night as he watched his brothers health deteriorate day after day. Mrs. Karen was a true hero for all of us and especially for Adam, she was by his side through the worst of it and never left.

We knew when Friday came it was going to be his last day here with us, selfishly I know we all wanted the day to never come but Adam has suffered enough… On Friday August 26 around 5:24pm Adam passed.

Adam definitely had a way of leaving his mark where ever he went which was plentiful seeing as he was a traveling man…. with each new city there was usually a minimum of 2 new cars! He was a high spirited, optimistic, life of the party, rambling man.

Health wise, Adam had his good days and bad days throughout his sickness but he never wanted pity, ever. He never talked about the pain he suffered from and he always knew how to keep a conversation going about something other than himself. I do believe his biggest fear was to be a burden and to make others feel bad for him.

So we chose to leave his memorial service last night with smiles instead of tears just as Adam managed to do daily as he fought through being upset, scared, sad, hurting or in awful pain as we were when he passed.

Alex was always so good with Adam, Lou had the patience of a 90 year old man and would entertain Adams phone calls for hours on end whether it was talking about which car he would buy next or “teaching” Alex how to fix the car for hours on end… Lou did it regardless of how busy he was or how big his exam was he was trying to study for the next day. Lou traveled to see Adam weekend after weekend ever chance he got and that is what I think lets him sleep at night.

That is what counts.

I know it will be things like that, the little things that will give Alex peace about Adam’s death and I am so thankful and fortunate of that. Then again I wouldn’t have fallen in love with the man if it weren’t to be expected of my Lou.

We are truly going to miss you Adam but will never, ever forget you. You have left your mark on us as well and we promise to remember all the good times you gave us to hold on to!

Adam above on his last birthday, the big 3-0 and quite possibly the best birthday ever, he really showed Statesboro how to get down!! Last night was Adams Memorial Service and it was just beautiful!

Rachel being inappropriate as usual (just as Adam would have liked granted), showing off her beautiful decorations though!

Typical Adam: his necklace, shades, the watch Alex gave him, blowpops and newports!

Alex has such a fun family, there is really no other word to describe them… they were so wonderful to come from all over the country to support the family during this time. On the left is Karens sister “Aunt Diane” and her little brother “Uncle Karl” which is only a few who made the long journey to come down.

Julian was the sweetest during everyone's tears, quite the little upcoming social worker I must say… (I have been trying to talk her into it lately, considering your either born for it or your not it’s never to early to start, right!) . When she watched Amber cry she leaned over 2 people to rub her back and say “It’s okay mommy”.

After the ceremony we released balloons into the air for Adam…

We are back finally back home in Atlanta and ready to get back to our old routines. It was not quite the homecoming we had planned for Alex but I am so very happy that in the end, we were able to be together during this horrific time.

Thank you all so much for the sweet messages, calls, concerns, visits and love that you showed to Alex and I and for all the endless prayers sent to Adam.

I honestly believe Love and the the support of family is what got everyone through this past week.

Speaking of which here is a flash back of what this past week looked like when we shared lighter moments as a family with each other….. at times it was all that kept us sane.

One of Taras many visits/Sbux delivery runs to hospice for us.

Day 2 of Lou being home (yay), he took a late night break from work to come with us on a Sonic run for the crew…

Fun camera apps that kept us busy….

Sean and I “married inners” have a way of looking from the outside in when it comes to the size of our family…. the whole clan of us basically took over hospice from Monday to Friday and set up a “work from home” shop in their dining room. Sean named us the “Minacane” not to be confused with “MinIcane” since we are anything but “mini”.

A stickers and Starbux run….

Yes, this was a pure accident (minus the planned “hard” look), but yes, Tuesday everyone showed up in camo and a V-neck…..

Including Matt who we met up with… craziness (unplanned hard look minus Lou) !

How many things can we find to do on the internet.

Moms dinner for all of us Friday night back at Karens.

Saturday was Alexs first day off of work and Friday was his first time being able to sleep at night (and not work) minus the nightmares but unfortunately he woke up Saturday and said sleeping at night after so long of not sleeping only made him more tired….