Dear Lola,
Mommy is so sorry for not documenting for you better lately. I found this in the draft folder as well and I’m sad to say it’s from many months ago- like before we even sold our house!
It’s been a crazy ride between selling our house, not finding another one (in time), moving into an apartment, having your baby brother, spending your first (several) nights away from us, transitioning you from a crib to a toddler bed, “losing” paci at Poppy’s lake house and best of all you have out done yourself and our greatest expectations to become the biggest and BEST big sister we could ever imagine.
I was literally thinking today- there has literally been nothing that you hold against him. I wonder sometimes if you even relate some things we can’t currently do or I tell you we can’t do because “his stroller won’t fit” or “no baby brother has to eat/crying etc.” Either way even when your frustrated about a situation you have yet to get frustrated with him. Your love is SO selfless with your brother and it probably was already I just didn’t notice it until he was here.
When I’m holding him you ALWAYS tell me “look mommy he is looking at you, he likes you”. I know you do it to make me “happy” and it is SO sweet! The other day you said it when he was starring straight at YOU and I said “no baby I think he is looking at you because he loves you”… it didn’t work- even with his eyes right on you- you insisted he was looking at me.
You have been a saint Lola, I had every anxiety and worry in the world about how you world handle all these changes knowing you are SUCH a creature of habit and you rocked them all! You had a couple days of telling us no to ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING we would ask you “Lola do you want ice cream-no”, yes that bad! A few days of meltdowns hat daddy handled much better than me…. I could handle the physical meltdowns just not my mind wandering into what was under them and over thinking them, that’s what get me.
As much as y our daddy and I are alike thankfully we differ with what worries us… he overthinks the physical parts where I overthink the emotional aspects of everything and how it could possibly affect you.
So anyway, it was a pretty flawless transition believe it or not and we are all happy healthy and home as a family of four.
I wanted to catch up on all the transitions you made through out the last year of becoming a big sister though!
As I have documented previously, we were in Hilton Head when we found out Sister would be a sister although we hadn’t told her just yet… We did have these pictures done at the end of our week and they have a extra special meaning to them now!
Below was about 20 minutes after your daddy and I found out we were pregnant! We woke you up from your nap and it killed us not telling you right then! I remember telling your daddy to take this picture because although we hadn’t told you I wanted to remember this moment forever!
My absolute FAVORITE story in this entire pregnancy happened on day ONE of us knowing.
Without you even knowing or should I say “being told” about the baby you told us about him. We put you to bed that night and we were both laying with you reading a book about friends. You were “struggling with sharing” specifically kids your age so I was trying to emphasize the importance of making friends.
I finished the book and asked you “Lola how many friends do you have?” You answered “just one” I said Oh just one, who is it? and began suggesting your friends at gymnastics, Jadyn or our old neighbors…. you turned and so confidently said “no, mama they aren’t here yet- they’re with their mama”.
Alex and I almost got whiplash we turned to look at each other so hard!
You were so right Lola, your best friend was not here yet but he was with his mama and on his way!
You have been SUCH a caretaker starting in the pregnancy. I don’t know if you saw daddy being (even more) worried about me than usual when I was so sick in the beginning or what but you just want to take care of me and it’s the absolute sweetest thing.
Fast forward to today and you are STILL caretaking of me AND Lox, your our little helper and gofer and today you and I were eating chips n the kitchen, it was time for me to fed Lox so I went in the den to feed him and without saying a word you came and asked me “mama do you want me to bring the chips in there so you can sit ad eat some”?
Seriously? Grown ups don’t have that thought when I have to leave the room or go sit down in the middle of trying to do something to feed Lox (and don’t you know when you sit down to feed a baby you suddenly think of everything you need that’s out of reach)- my girl does though!
I’m sure you new that…
We tried getting you to start going to a drop in school program for a few hours once or twice a week and I believe I blogged about that in October. The motivation (besides us actually wanting you to go and socialize and ahem, share) was so that we could go to our doctors appointments without you. They weren’t exactly happy, exciting appointments like they were when we were pregnant with you. We never knew which way they were going to go and we had LOTS of them so we really didn’t think it was appropriate for you to be there. They were filled with anxiety and uncertainty but thankfully as I discussed previously our faith was slowly restored in this pregnancy and by week 10 we were literally dancing in the waiting room.
We had not officially told you yet but let’s be honest, mama is smart enough to know you knew all along.
I had talked in a previous blog about being terribly sick for weeks from the medication they started me on at 5 weeks… so we told Lola every time she asked us why we were going back to the doctor that we had to check o the “buggy in mommy’s belly” bc well we told you initially it was a stomach bug.
After the 12 week appointment we officially told you and gave you a big sister book and shirt. I knew it would be a long wait for you but how could the most important person in my life be the last to know? We knew once we told people it would be “talked about” much more and you hear EVERYTHING!
Mommy cried and cried writing in your book. I was terrified of the day you would no longer be my only baby but so happy for you. We knew you will LOVE being a BIG sister!
You were very calm when we told you and ad little response or reaction. I think you were waiting for us to show you how you should “behav” but we were too busy trying to play it cool and calm while telling you so you just took it al in. Minutes later you wanted to read your book, in the rocking chair, alone. I knew right then you were pretending to be a mommy. The little girl (big sister) in the book held her baby and her baby’s lovie and so you started reading the book and then jumped down to get a baby doll to hold and a lovie for your baby doll (and you said just that).
(That flamingo was your baby dolls make shift lovie)
When Lola told my parents and sister we were pregnant she gave them the ultrasound picture and said “mommy’s buggy is all better”!
The next few days after we told you that you were going to be a big sister it was over. EVERYWHERE we went you had to bring your baby doll carrier and your TWO babies and you told EVERYONE.
If we asked you what we were having you would say you wanted a sister but that’s usually followed with “two babies a brother and a sister like Neyney babies”..
That is both babies in the carrier under the blanket (and popcorn)…. you also insisted on carrying them from the parking lot into the store by yourself.
…and here’s another day…. (we go to Target a lot)! lol
You never let me help you carry anything that’s yours!
And you love to check and see how the baby is growing (sorry for the pda neighbors) lol
This was 13 weeks and already had a bump!
You started making up little reasons why you need to buy things lately (I wonder where you get that from)… so you told me you needed to buy a toy for “your” baby. The next day you had torn a part of the tag (because you insisted on sleeping with it) and said you needed to get your baby another toy because your baby’s toy broke.
We were playing in your room this day and you packed all the supplies you needed for “your baby” in your baby bag (amongst many other things going on in this picture).
(I just love your messy hair profile.)
Since we told you it was a BROTHER you started to LOVE shopping for him even more. You always say “I buy this for my baby”.
You even grew a belly too!
By our 20 week appointment the doctors knew the drill, we were BOTH pregnant and they even knew and went along with Sister being pregnant and 90% checked her vitals and even did the heart monitor on her belly.
She would always sit on the patient chair/table and I would have to ask for a turn when the doctors came in (I would literally bribe her before they came in to make sure she was on board with me having a turn).
Any picture they have ever given us we have to literally ask to “borrow” it back.
It gets better. She even started insisting that she pee in he cup too.
She even started dance class (which shows me just how far behind I am on all this blogging-anyway not the point) and certain days she insisted her belly was just too big to do certain stretches or poses….
You even got to join us on our little baby moon since sissy was pregnant too!
We knew we wanted you to grow up along side siblings but we hoped and prayed you adjusted well to it all!
Looking back at that picture it’s hard to even imagine what our life was like then…. I miss it so much some days, especially when I look back at old pictures. It was just you and I and I would get to love on you all day without a care in the world for over 3 years. I will forever and always cherish those 3 years that I got to smother you but I know the best is yet to come. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love seeing you with your brother and seeing you have something to mama. I swear your relationship with him changes almost daily as you get a little more interaction back from him! I love the idea of you two growing up together and having a best friend for life.
Although nothing went the way I expected in the hospital and with your first “meeting of him” which besides behind a glass- took place in the hospital parking lot… you could have cared less!
You met him and you could not keep your hands off of him ( you still can’t)!
You could not WAIT to hold him!
This picture below was technically the first picture EVER of the two of you together!
You loved him coming home and seeing him use all of his “stuff” and you screamed “Mommy his eyes are open” ANYTIME he opened them!
We also noticed after our first outing how protective you were…. you pitched a fit if anyone came up to acknowledge him without your “permission” your a bit of a control freak (like any good mama)
You love holding him, tickling him and holding his hand and you tell me about 100 times a day “mom he’s looking at you”… the first time I was alone with you both and tried putting you down for a nap he starting screaming crying and I asked if he could lay with us in your bed while I finished your story.
I was so afraid you would get upset and think that was our alone time… you were literally screaming over and over “yeahhhh this is the BEST DAY EVERRRRRR”!
I love seeing you big sister him. I catch you talking to him all the time and saying things like “aww I’m right here” when he cries, wiping his mouth with a wet wipe or burp cloth when he spits up, putting a blanket on him or fetching me endless amounts of diapers, wipes and burp cloths.
When anyone comes up to meet him or look at him you instantly put yourself between Lox and the person but face Lox- your very protective of him.
You have taken on SO many new things lately and we are SO proud of the way you have adjusted to it all. With selling our house, moving in the apartment, having baby brother, me staying away from your for the first time ever for FOUR nights in a row, making your crib a toddler bed and more recently doing away with night time pull ups entirely (hooray!).
To top them all I had every excuse in the book of why it was never a good time to get rid of paci but it happened!
Those are the last two pictures I have of you sleeping with paci and old lovie or “ol yovie” as you called him.
Our first night at the lake over Memorial Weekend we went into a panic when it was about midnight and we were just getting everything set up to go to sleep when we realized we could not find paci. Instantly you were screaming I was overly tired and your daddy saved the day by laying with you on the couch until you fell asleep watching movies with you…. we assumed paci was in the car (at the marina) but after the first night we new that was our opportunity to not go back (and have to go through that again)! You only asked for it a handful of times that weekend and have asked for it maybe ten times total since then! Sadly you have not really been interested in lovie since then and that breaks my heart!
We are SO proud of you Lola.
I told Alex some nights I have just wanted to cry for you… I know some days you have every reason to pull your hair out and scream at me but you never do. Thankfully you never take it out on him either.
I know some days I have told you “no” twenty times or I have told you “shh baby is sleeping” a hundred times even when you just have something you loudly and eagerly want to tell me. It breaks my heart and I thank God it hasn’t appeared to break yours… you just keep on going.
Mama is so far behind and who knows if I will ever be able to keep up with this blog the way I used to but I felt this one as pretty important to have for you one day. I love you so very much sweet girl and you continue to be everything I need and more. You and your brother are your daddy and I’s dream come true since we were just teenagers and now we have you both loving on each other.
We love you Lola Eliza and congratulations on being the best big sister Lox could ever have!
Love Always,
Mama
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