Wow do we have some catching up to do!
We have been a wee bit occupied the last 6 weeks because well.. look who’s here!
On April 21, 2017 we met our 6lbs 10 ounces and 20 inches long bundle of baby boy joy!
*Lochlan “Lox” Everett*
He is beautiful, snuggly, healthy and of so lovable- he’s really here and he is all ours!
At 35 weeks Dr. Dawson officially decided I would be induced at 37 weeks. I had been seeing a specialist to monitor what they feared may be Choleostasis of the Liver due to my severe itching in my 3rd trimester although I tested negative for it. The specialist also noticed my fluid levels were growing increasingly higher and were off the charts for unknown reasons..
So we went in on Thursday night April 20th to be induced early Friday morning the 21 and eventually delivered that night with Dr. Heath Graham.
He turns six weeks old today and as much as I don’t want to set him down to write this- I REALLY want to be able to continue documenting these beautiful babies we make!
(Truth be told I’m updating this because I started it when he was 2 weeks old)
This picture was taken seconds after he came out! I actually pulled him out myself and put him on my chest. It was by far the craziest and most mind blowing thing I have ever done. He took amost 16 hours to come and then came ALL of a sudden in about 6 or 7 pushes and less than 5 minutes! We were honestly scared the doctor would not make it in the room!
Below is our first picture together- I was literally shrieking!
He instantly held both of our hands and I was literally the lady everyone on the hall heard screaming- except it was from excitement the second I got to pull him out and put him on my chest!
I never got to do that with Lola so it was extra special to me. It was one of the most amazing moments in my life.
I think the second I held him it literally hit me all at once- looking back I was in such denial the entire pregnancy with the previous miscarriage, the numerous scares in the beginning of losing him and then the fear of stillbirth in the end due to the concern of having cholestasis.
Who knew you could even go through labor with the child your still in denial of actually getting!?!
I thought I was managing all the fears and anxieties and had them pretty far on the back burner at this point but when I finally met him and he was here I just lost it.
You were born at 11:06 pm and I held you the entire first hour- our golden hour as they called it. I honestly fell asleep when the nurses came in to do all of the stats and slept through most of it-In total they started my labor at 7:30 am and I labored almost 16 hours with my epidural only working for 1 of those hours and then thankfully it was “fixed” to work again about 5 minutes before he came out…
I. was. exhausted.
We were taken up to our recovery room about 3am and I remember the nurse came in and asked us to pack our things to move up there and both of us nodded “okay” and then fell back asleep.
Twice.
Anyway, once we made it up we asked the NICU nurses to watch him for 3 hours since we knew we would pass out and shortly after we got to our room late at night when Lola was born Alex was helping me get to the bathroom and thankfully a nurse walked in when we found Lola was turning blue and choking on fluid.
Alex literally has PTSD from it as he walked in in the middle of it- I never saw it but it terrifies me.
So the plan was to send him to the nursery until his next feeding at 6am and we would have him back the reminder of our time there to feed, cuddle and stare at you until we went home in a day or two. I remember those days in the hospital were some of my favorite with Lola.
Unfortunately those first five minutes or so of getting to be in our recovery room before he went to the nursery were the only 5 minutes we had with him alone, in our room, our entire stay.
At 6 am I woke up asking for Lox and the nurses informed Alex he had been taken to a “Transition Nicu” area which is a 6 hour “trial” area where he could be monitored extra closely due to his oxygen level dropping when he would gag or spit up. From there he would come back to us or be admitted to the NICU.
This was the first we had heard of any “problem”.
I remember being upset but I thought maybe it was just something similar to what happened with Lola when she choked on fluid- and would be no big deal. I was more focused on finding where this transitional unit was so I could get my hands on him.
When I got down there is when I realized- this was not a normal nursery. I guess I should have known that or maybe from the calm way Alex kept relaying the information to me from the nurses as a way to protect me didn’t actually allow me to understand the realness of it.
We were able to go in and see him and I was even able to give him a bottle but honestly we had not even processed him being born, what he looks like, how tired we were. So as expected, walking in to see him and hearing what all was going on and what “we” were going to try and do about it was SO overwhelming. Not to mention the fear of just not knowing what was wrong with him.
Can I just say how weird it is to ask a complete stranger time and time again if I cold hold my child… the one I carried for 9 months and gave birth to hours previous. That’s just not natural.
I remember just the transition of the nurse GENTLY handing him to me would cause him to spit up all over the place… we were scared to move him for days because ANY movement just caused him tummy such distress.
On top of that we had already told Mom to bring Lola up to see us and although I wouldn’t have changed that because we needed her and she needed us- it made things ten times more difficult.
When Lola came we had to take turns to go in because after having left her for two nights already at this point she would literally not let us out of her sight! Even with taking turns she would lose it and it was such a process for me to leave her to go in the transition room. Thankfully while he was in the transition room he was closest to the window so Sister could see us with him and I was at least able to go see him for a few minutes while she was visiting.
That evening Alex had gone down to visit him while I was in our room with Lola and he was informed Lox was still not improving, gagging more, not eating and oxygen levels were continuing to drop- the doctor was present at the time and this is when they decided to officially admit him to the NICU.
I think I was in denial all over again when Alex told me…
That being said- This was not the Big Sister picture I had envisioned when I bought ALL of their matching Big Sister- Little brother Outfits!
Setting that expectation a side- this was even sweeter than I could have imagined. She LOVED seeing him even if it was through a window and believe it or not- that taught me a lot.
I have no idea what her expectations were and I imagine they weren’t this but she was excited and thankful either way.
Once in the NICU he was in a separate area that had no windows and obviously children weren’t allowed to be in there. Reality had hit and we got scared, really scared.
The worst was not knowing what was wrong. I remember wondering “What if his kidneys are failing, his liver, what if something un-fixable is wrong with him?” I even ventured to start thinking this is why I was in denial all this time with the pregnancy, it was all too good to be true.
For the moment we had no answers and I was in such denial he was in the NICU. On one hand I was terrified it was worse case scenarios and on the other I refused to even bring his blankets and clothes down because I continued to think it was a mistake and he would be right back to me, in my room.
Finally the nurse mentioned not having clothes for him and “having to find some” and I just lost it.
So I brought a lot of his clothes, blankets and hats down and I kept my boppy pillow down near his bed.
NICU was our ew reality, it wasn’t the same story as Lola and I needed to get over my selfish expectations to do what was best for Lox and his situation.
I quickly learned his feeding schedule and jumped on board, I had set my alarms and informed the nurses that I plan to come down for every feeding since I was still trying to nurse him even though he was throwing up so much.
However, when Alex and I came down for the 2am feeding I will never forget the look on his nurses face and the fear that instantly set in for us.
She had thrown towels on the floor and apparently it had just happened- her first words when we eagerly arrived to feed him were “I need to call the doctor to come see him now”.
We both freaked.
She said he had thrown up everywhere and there was even blood in it. He was keeping nothing down and even more came out even if he wasn’t eating.
At this point they made a decision to cut off his feedings entirely and to give him nutrients only through his IV.
So we snuck in our cuddles wen and slept for a couple hours and came back at 7am when we were told the doctor would likely be able to meet us while making his rounds.
About 7:30 Sunday morning we met the doctor, Dr. Davvy. He was everything we needed him to be. I sensed he could see our fear and he shared about his own daughter being in the NICU and even on a ventilator for 10 days after she was born at his own attending hospital. He empathized with us and assured us Lox was very strong and stable.
He decided to run a contrast enema that according to him would show him just about everything he needed to know. According to him it would also be the “fix” to another suspicion he had of a meconium plug.
We spent all day with Lox and when they finally took him back for the test we prayed for poop!
We paced and paced and even walked down to the gift shop where I got him the lovie shown below…
We finally got the phone call that we had waited for and went running down to the NICU- He had pooped and they even saved the diaper to show us what came out! It was AWFUL (just google merconium plug- you will vomit!) but it was SO beautiful to see POOP!
He continued to poop after that and got lots more out! The next day he was able to move back to feedings with the bottle and needed to tolerate them for 24-48 hours without gagging to come home!
Unfortunately that night and the next morning as Lox was getting better I was physically and quickly getting worse.
I started passing clots that were getting bigger and bigger until I passed one larger than the size of a hand- they continued to assure me the entire time “everything is fine as long as you don’t pass something larger than the size of your hand”… there was our answer- we have a problem and it was non stop! I could barely walk, had to go back to using a wheelchair and worst of all I was scared to even go see Lox in the NICU.
We had to leave the hospital since I was no longer a patient when this occurred- we were technically just “nesting” and I went straight to my OBGYN to have an ultrasound done.
It showed a large piece of placenta was still left in me and I needed a DNC immediately. My doctor scheduled it for 7am the next morning.
I literally left from feeding him, went to my doctor got my ultrasound, scheduled surgery and raced bac to the hospital for his 3pm feeding. We had also had Lola in our room the previous night until 2am when Alex finally got her tired enough to drive home because once again she refused to leave us.
We were EXHAUSTED.
I was shocked that I would need surgery but SO focused on Lox I could have cared less if they were cutting my arms off at the time. It was a bump to getting my baby home and I would at least be gone and hopefully back home before Lola even woke up because I was terrified of leaving her again once I went home.
Surgery went great and I made it back home about 9:30am just as Lola was waking up! When she went down for her nap I raced back to the hospital to make it in time for his 3pm feeding and to get some good snuggles!
By then he had developed jaundice and needed to be under the lights ALL the time so I could only hold him during scheduled feedings.
It was like giving me a million dollars every time I got to hold him and I always kept him right up to my face because he SMELLED SO GOOD! I couldn’t get enough!
I mean how cute is he!?!
The nurses would always walk by and I felt like I was doing something illegal just smothering him and smelling him and then “coming up for air” when they would walk by lol
The next day, the day after my surgery Dr. Davvy called and I will never forget him asking “Well, are you ready to take your baby boy home!?” I don’t even think I got the words out to answer him! He also asked about how I was doing and how my surgery went… I know how busy he was and how many babies he see’s who I’m sure all look the same (to him) and it meant so much to me he even knew to ask about my surgery.
It’s so funny just writing this I remember looking forward to those sleepless nights and craving them SO badly! I wanted him home and healthy and honestly feel like that is a huge huge part of what made bringing him home so smooth! We didn’t take any of it for granite because we knew what it was like to come home without him.
So we hung up the phone and raced to the hospital..
This day was ours, this day we got you.
Forever and ever you are ours!
As soon as I walked out with him Lola was SO excited!
She did her nervous little squeals initially and then moved right on to the words I have heard everyday since then…. “Mama I hold him”!
She has waited 9 months and 5 days for this moment and I could not bare telling her “no” again! He’s all yours baby girl- you deserve him! As soon as we got in the car she just had to have him!
We are all pretty smitten with you Lox!
We made it home and you would think someone had slipped us happy pills!
I JUST love seeing this one big sister it up… she is SO loving and care taking… seeing her be a natural nurturer literally makes me want to crumble into tiny pieces.
Every time your eyes open she has to comment on it.. “mommy he’s looking at you- mommy he likes you”. She loves to say that!
Lochlan you have quickly taken on your nickname which we adore “Lox” or as sissy says it-“ Baby Yox” which we adore even more!
I hope to update this more often now that I got that out but until someone starts sleeping through the night I won’t promise much!
I actually had to have surgery again yesterday, another DNC because I started having the same symptoms and they did an ultrasound and rushed me to do another surgery the very next day- again. We’re so glad that is behind us and hopefully for real this time we are on the mend.
It’s been quite a ride but thank God your cute and for the most part-compared to your sister- your still a pretty easy going baby!
So happy 6 weeks lox! My gift to you is finishing your birth story finally!
I hope to be back to fill in the gaps soon- maybe next time Gee comes back and holds my babies so I can get something done!
Oh Lox, we are so glad your here!
We love you somuch,
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